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Anna, a.k.a. Evelyn's Mom

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October 21, 2019

The subject of this post was requested by a friend and fellow grieving mother. If ever you would like to see me cover a subject on the blog that I otherwise haven't, please feel free to email me your requests. I cannot always promise that it will happen, or that I will...

February 12, 2019

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. When trauma and loss collide, such as in the unexpected death

of your healthy child, such as in the finding of their lifeless body, such as in the utter implosion of your life and being, PTSD is the natural outcome. But nothing about livi...

December 10, 2018

One loss does not prepare you for another.

My father passed away last week. He was 77 years old. He had a pacemaker, a bevy of bad habits, and an assortment of health issues. And none of that made his loss any less surprising when it finally came. 

Since losing Ev,...

November 16, 2018

I live in another woman's house.

I drive another woman's car. I wear her clothes and sleep in her bed. Sometimes, I stand in her closet and finger her jewelry and think things like, Why so many necklaces? and Where could she possibly have worn all these? I go to her job...

October 3, 2018

I can recall with perfect clarity the exact moment when I first realized I wanted to die.

It was four weeks to the day after our daughter had passed. It was also our 20th wedding anniversary—a fact that was totally lost on me until late in the afternoon when it came dri...

August 28, 2018

A year has passed since we lost Ev. Well, for everyone else anyway. For myself, this has been one, long, agonizing moment. 

The dictionary defines "progress" as a forward or onward movement toward a destination.

I don't have a destination, unless you count death. Death i...

August 1, 2018

I wrote this letter to myself, to the me on the precipice of disaster, on the last day, final moments, of what was my life. It is a letter to myself as I stood at Evelyn's door, unaware of what I was about to encounter. It is a way to pump medicine back through time in...

July 22, 2018

In The Before, we were a happy family of five—myself, my husband, our oldest daughter who had just turned 20, Evelyn who was only weeks away from going away to college, and our son who had finished his first year of high school. The Before is what I call the life we ha...

June 17, 2018

The following quote was taken from an Instagram post Elizabeth Gilbert, the best-selling author of Eat Pray Love, wrote just last week about the loss of her partner and wife, Rayya.

Six months ago this week, Rayya died.

People keep asking me how I’m doing, and I’m...

April 18, 2018

Maybe it's presumptuous of me to write this post. After all, I am only one broken-hearted mother. Who am I to speak for the parents of loss all over the world?  All I know is that nine months into life without Evelyn, I am still trying to wrap my own head around this e...

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